Star Trek: The Artemis Fowl Incident
by Enterprise-A
Summary: Artemis is on his greatest adventure yet. This time, he must deal with his greatest challenge yet: the year 2293. Star Trek Artemis Fowl Crossover. Post Opal, Pre Colony. CANCELED. READ PROFILE FOR MORE
1. To Boldly Go

Star Trek:

The Artemis Fowl Incident

Based on Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer and Star Trek by Gene Roddenberry.

**Haven City, The Lower Elements**

Holly Short was sitting in her office. The whole day had gone by without one case. It was extremely quiet in the office. Mulch had gone to get a bite to eat, and it was very late so she decided against calling Artemis. She was about to go find Mulch when there was a knock on the door. She went to open the door and was extremely surprised. She was face to face with Wing Commander Vinyaya.

"Hello Holly," Vinyaya said. "How's life been treating you?"

"To tell you the truth commander, life has been boring me stiff. We haven't had a case in weeks," Holly said.

"Well, you'll be glad that I came. We have a case for you, Captain," Vinyaya said.

The commander's comment startled Holly. She had called her captain, a rank she abandoned months ago.

"What is it?" asked Holly.

"I'll give you two words. Care to guess?" asked Vinyaya.

Holly knew instantly. She felt it.

"Artemis Fowl?" she asked in barely more than a whisper.

"Yes. We have found some activity coming from Fowl Manner. The same kind of activity we would find at a demon appearance," said the commander.

"That's odd. I'll check it out for you. Let's just hope Mulch shows up in time to get some action," Holly said as Mulch walked through the door.

"Holly, what's with the officers?" Mulch asked, extremely confused.

"Mulch, let's get moving. Commander Vinyaya has given us a case," Holly said as soon as she noticed him.

"All right, but where are we headed?" asked Mulch.

"Fowl Manner," Holly said.

"Actually, we have one stop before that," Vinyaya said.

"Where? Police Plaza?" Holly asked, confused.

"No, somewhere else entirely," Vinyaya said, smiling.

**Vinyaya's Shuttle, Haven City, The Lower Elements**

"We'll be arriving shortly," Vinyaya said.

"Where _are_ we going?" Mulch asked for the fifteenth time.

"Well, if it's the only way to shut you up, I guess I'll tell you. We're heading to Section 8," Vinyaya said. Seeing the looks of confusion on their faces, she added, "It is an elite branch of the L.E.P. that focuses on demonology, but we have had our share of "normal" missions."

"What do you guys need us for?" Mulch asked.

"You guys have better relations with Fowl. As I recall, you call him from time to time," Vinyaya said. "When we get to the base, we'll have someone better qualified than me to explain it," she continued.

"Who would that be?" Holly asked.

Vinyaya did not answer to that. Instead, she flew the shuttle towards a rock formation. Holly couldn't figure out what Vinyaya was doing. She couldn't have gone to all this way to just kill them and her own party of troops. When they should have crashed into the rocks, nothing happened except for a soft electrical buzz.

"Holograms," Holly sighed with relived.

Vinyaya then landed the shuttle and they all got out and walked down a long narrow hallway.

When they reached a large door, Vinyaya put her hand on a wall panel and said, "The scanner not only scans my DNA, but checks for my pulse. That way no one could get in, even if they cut off my hand."

"So much paranoia in one place. I think I know who your chief engineer is," said Holly, smiling.

As the door opened, a four legged someone walked out and gave Holly a bear hug.

"Foaly," Holly said happily.

"How are you doing Holly?" Foaly said happily.

"Great Foaly,"Holly said. "What are you doing here? What about your old job?"

"I tried to work for Sool. He is destroying everything Julius built," Foaly said bitterly. Turning to Mulch, he asked, "How have you been, Mulch?"

"Fine donkey boy," Mulch said as Holly rolled her eyes.

"What's is going on around here? When do we get a full explanation?" Holly asked.

"We have been tracking Artemis and his household, and we have been picking up suspicious readings," Foaly stated.

"Suspicious in what way, Foaly," Holly asked.

"The scans picked up a beam of energy that created the molecular structure of a small object," Foaly said.

"Well, we should be investigating at the moment," Holly said, turning to grab one of the shuttles.

"Wait a minute, Foaly is going with you. He should see the area himself and do as full scan of the surrounding area," Vinyaya said.

"OK commander. Let's move out," Foaly said.

**Fowl Manner, Ireland**

When they arrived, they hid the shuttle in a neaby cave. The three of the headed to the door and knocked. The door opened to reveal a very large man.

"Hey Butler," Mulch said cheerfully.

"Mulch, you old reprobate. Good to see you. Good to see you two, Holly." Butler said smiling slightly. He turned to said, "Foaly! What are you doing here and not at Sector 8?"

"Vinyaya sent me here– wait a minute. How do about Sector 8?" Foaly said, surprised.

"Artemis will explain later. He's in his bedroom. Come on in," Butler said.

The group came inside and walked up the staircase. When they entered

Artemis' room, he was meditating.

"Hello Holly, Mulch. Foaly, what brings you here? Vinyaya's orders?" Artemis asked.

Foaly nodded, then asked, "How do you and Butler know about Sector 8?"

"You shouldn't spy on me. I just spiked your computer and entered the system," Artemis said. "Now down to business. Why are you here?"

"What has been happening around here lately? We picked up some readings of a molecular transporter device," Foaly asked.

"I have no idea what it was. A beam of light appeared and this," Artemis said pointing at the small, blinking device on the nearby table, "appeared."

"Well, it seems to be as tracking device. I suggest it be destroyed as soon as possible," Foaly said.

"Yes, but what if it is exactly what they want? They could be ready to strike as soon as it is disabled," Artemis argued.

"We won't find out if we don't do anything," Holly said, pulling out her Neutrino 3000. She disintegrated the box in one shot. Mere seconds later, several beams of light appeared, and several humanoids stepped out and fired a weapon similar to Holly's Neutrino. Just before she lost consciousness, she could have sworn they had pointed ears.

**IRS Talon, Earth Orbit**

"We have them, Praetor." a sublieutenant asked the man in the commander's chair.

"It is time we paid a visit to an old friend of mine," the man said. "We should give them to him to give him a sporting chance. Time for us to return to 2292."

"Yes sir," said the lieutenant as they entered time warp.

* * *

A/N: How was it? Try and guess who the man is. next chapter soon! 


	2. The Enterprise

(A/N: I own none of the characters.)

_**USS Enterprise**_**, Edge of the Romulan Neutral Zone**

Spock sat in his quarters. He was sitting in the usual darkness, meditating for the last hour, and clearing his thoughts. His meditations were disturbed when he heard Uhura's voice over the intercom saying, "Yellow alert, First Officer and a security team to the bridge."

Spock quickly got up and headed to the bridge. When he got there, he saw Kirk and asked, "What is the situation, Captain?"

"These five beings just beamed onto the bridge," Kirk said, pointing to the five unconscious bodies on the floor. Spock saw that two of them were human. The boy was in a two-piece suit, and had black hair. The bigger man, who Spock speculated was either a guardian, a bodyguard, or the boy's father. The man was shaven, bald and was also in a suit and tie.

The other creatures were harder to classify. Two looked like humans, but were far shorter. One was about three feet tall, with auburn hair, chestnut colored skin, and pointed ears, to Spock's surprise. "Fascinating," was all Spock said before looking at the next intruder.

The creature was about the same height as the female, but hairier. He had brown hair and tan skin. He also had a very peculiar smell.

The last intruder was indeed, strange. It was similar to a human male on its upper side, but was similar to a horse on its lower side. It was somewhat pale skinned, with brown hair.

"Take them to sickbay. I will interrogate when they are awakened," Spock said. The guards quickly got the intruders on stretchers and took them from the bridge.

A few minutes later, Uhura said, "Mr. Spock, one of the intruders is awake."

"Thank you, Commander. Captain, may I go to sickbay?" Spock asked Captain Kirk.

"Of course Spock," was the captain's quick response.

As Spock entered sickbay, Spock heard McCoy yelling, "Would you sit down? The boy is fine for god's sake. Just rest, big guy,"

"No. I must protect my principle," said the large man, firmly. When the man stood up, Spock noticed he was about three inches taller than himself.

"Would you sit down if I brought the boy in here?" McCoy said, with an annoyed edge in his voice.

"That would be much better," the large man said. Then he noticed Spock and said, "Greetings. I am Butler."

"I am Spock. Why are you here, Mr. Butler?" Spock inquired.

"I do not know myself. We were Artemis's room and were blasted by men with laser rifles. Then I woke up here. What are you, sir?" asked Butler.

"I am a Vulcan," Spock said.

"In that case, I would like to see my principle now," Butler said.

"Well, sorry to keep you waiting, but I had to wake him up," McCoy said. He then turned to Spock and whispered, "Damn kid's been annoying me the whole time with questions."

Spock turned to look at the boy. He was about 14 or 15 years old, with black hair and an air of cockiness about him.

"Hello sir, I am Artemis Fowl the II," the boy said.

"I am Captain Spock, First Officer on the USS Enterprise," Spock said.

"Would you please tell me what is going on?" Artemis asked, somewhat impatiently.

"Let us wake your companions first," Spock said. He motioned to McCoy to start waking the patients up. As the C.M.O. walked by, some of them could vaguely hear him mutter something like, "No thanks whatsoever. That green blooded son of a . . . ," as he walked over to the beds.

The first to wake up was Holly, who grabbed for her Neutrino, but found it was missing. "Ok, where the hell am I?" Holly said to no one in particular.

"You are in the sickbay of the _USS Enterprise_," Spock said, surprising Holly, who had expected Artemis to answer.

About five minutes later, Foaly woke up. After surveying his surroundings, he said, "Really impressive stuff. Either we've traveled to the future, or we're back in Haven in the medical center."

"Foaly, this is a _Mudman _hospital," Holly said. "I'd say your first guess was right."

"Yes it was, ma'am," Spock said drawing attention to himself.

"Who the hell are you?" Holly asked.

"Captain Spock of the _USS Enterprise_. I serve as the First officer and Science officer. Let us wake the other, being, before we continue this conversation," Spock said. "Doctor, if you please," he continued before walking off.

After Mulch finally woke up, the group waited for Mr. Spock's return. Sure enough, Spock came back about five minutes later with a somewhat shorter man. He had brown hair and eyes, and a pin on his uniform exactly like Spock's.

"I am Captain James T. Kirk. Who are you, and what are you doing on my ship?" Kirk asked.

"I am Artemis Fowl. This is my bodyguard, Butler, my friend, Captain Holly Short of the LEP, Holly's Partner, Mulch Diggums, and the technical genius of Sector 8, Foaly," Artemis said. "We have absolutely no idea of how we got here, except last we saw before we woke up here was beings like Mr. Spock."

Spock muttered something to Kirk, who had a thoughtful expression on his face. "I guess we could let you have the extra quarters on deck 16. Spock, if you would show our guests the way," Kirk said.

"Yes Captain. Please follow me," Spock said as they walked to the turbolift. As they entered the lift, Spock said, "Computer, deck sixteen."

As the lift started up the shaft, Holly asked, "Mr. Spock, what year is it?"

"The year 2292," Spock replied. The shock on their faces was obvious, on everyone except Fowl. The boy seemed to be a master of masking his emotions.

When they arrived in the crew quarters, they found them comfortable. Mulch was the only person who didn't like them. He kept on complaining that he needed dirt.

"Would you shut up Mulch?!" everyone yelled after five minutes of his jabbering.

"Fine. I'll just wait in the corner for some food," Mulch said.

"Well, what is our plan?" asked Holly.

"For what?" asked Artemis.

"Come on Mudboy. You're supposed to be the genius. What are we planning to do with ourselves here?" Holly asked.

"Well, we should wait to discuss the options with Captain Kirk," Artemis said.

"Then we should get ready to wait a few hours," Foaly said, sitting down on the bed.

A few hours later, Kirk and Spock came in and asked, "What are the five of you planning to do?"

"What are our options, Captain?" Artemis asked.

"Well, we cannot enter time warp at the present time, as the ship's engines can't be put under a lot of stress thanks to our last skirmish with the Romulans, you could enroll in Starfleet Academy, or live on Earth for a while," Kirk said.

"I for one, will join the academy. I cannot adjust to the life of a normal civilian," Artemis said. "What about you, Butler?"

The manservant said, "I will go to the academy also. It is my duty."

Holly said, "I guess going to the Academy wouldn't hurt. I guess if we're staying here for a while, I should know what is here."

"I have a question. Do they have engineering and mechanics there?" asked Foaly.

"Yes. If you would like, Mr. Foaly, we can take you to meet our chief engineer, Montgomery Scott," Spock said.

"Count me in at the Academy. I can't wait to meet your engineer," Foaly said, with a grin on his face.

"What about you, Mister Diggums?" asked Kirk.

"I'll just be a civilian. Can't do much if everything in this spaceship is metal, so I'll settle on Earth," Mulch said.

"We'll set course for Earth as soon as the _Saratoga_ arrives to continue the patrol of the zone, which should take about two hours," Kirk said as he and Spock left.

"We should rest. It's going to be a while," Butler said.

* * *

A/N: How was that? Sorry about the long wait, but I've had a serious case of writers block. If any of you have any ideas for the story, PLEASE TELL ME! Enterprise A. ;) 


	3. Starfleet Academy

(Disclaimer: I own none of the of the characters.)

_**USS Enterprise**_**, Edge of the Romulan Neutral Zone, Artemis' quarters.**

Holly was looking out the window when Foaly got back. He had been with the Chief Engineer, Montgomery Scott, looking around the ship.

"This baby sure has one hell of an engine! The thing takes two decks!" Foaly said as he walked in.

"How fast can she go?" asked Holly.

"She has a top speed of 95,232,000 meters per second at warp. At impulse power, it goes about 239,833,966.4 meters per second. I wonder how you would handle her," Foaly said, thoughtfully.

"I've been thinking about what I'm taking up at the Academy. I'm stuck between flying the ship and commanding it," Holly said, looking back out the window.

"I'll say that I'd be more comfortable with you at the helm, then as the commanding officer," said Artemis, who was coming in from a brief nap in his room.

"What about you, Artemis? Have you decided what to be at the Academy?" Holly asked.

"I will be going into command," he said.

"No surprise there," Holly muttered.

"When should the_ Saratoga _arrive?" asked Foaly.

"Oh, right about now," Artemis said as he looked out the window. He felt sorry for Butler and Mulch, who were asleep. A massive vessel came into view. It had two nacelles under the disc, and had a dual torpedo launcher on the bar above the dish. The disk read, 'USS Saratoga NCC-1867.'

"Now that's a ship," Holly said, staring in aw at the ship's size.

Just then the Captain's voice came from over the intercom. "There she is. Now we can head to Earth."

The ship started moving and outside, it stretched slightly before entering warp speed.

**Earth Orbit, Spacedock**

"So that's what she looks like!" Foaly said as he looked out the window. The _Enterprise_ was in clear view from here. It's saucer was on a neck that stretched from a tube. In the back were two pylons with the dual nacelles on them. On the disk read the inscription, 'USS Enterprise NCC-1701-A.'

"She is a beauty, isn't she? Let's beam you down to the planet, so you can take the application test," Kirk said.

The six of them rushed down the corridor to the transporter room. When they arrived, they stepped on the transporter pads.

"Don't worry, this won't hurt a bit," Kirk said with a smile on his face.

As the transporter beam was activated, Holly had a shock of recognition, because they were the same kind of beams that the men had stepped out of to shoot them.

When they arrived at the Academy, they were shocked to see how Earth was in the future. The air was clean, the water was blue and unpolluted, and there was no sign of any factories.

"It seems the Mudmen finally learned to respect the planet," muttered Holly.

They walked into a building that was as futuristic as possible. There were hundreds of people and aliens, and Holly had to watch where she was walking so she didn't get stepped on.

They then entered a room filled with computers. "To use the computer, you can use your voice or the keyboard. I'll be back later to pick you up to go to the classroom," Kirk said.

"Thank you, Captain," Artemis said.

When Kirk left, Artemis sat down at the computer. He, and everyone else, started reading about through the text.

Three hours later, Kirk came back and took them all (except Mulch) to a large classroom. It was empty except for four desks and three chairs.

"Where am I supposed to sit?" asked Foaly asked.

"Sorry. We couldn't find a chair for you," the examiner said. "We will begin the examination in five minutes."

When Artemis was allowed to start the test, he found it quite easy. Holly however, was having some difficulties. She was having trouble remembering the exact mechanics of a starship.

When the test was over, Artemis passed with scores better than Fleet Admiral William "Bill" Toddman had on his test, Butler and Foaly both were accepted with simply above average grades, and Holly average scores.

"You all will be accepted in the Academy. All I have left to say is, welcome to Starfleet," the examiner said. "You will go to the welcoming ceremony for the new trainees this weekend, and have your first lessons on Monday."

As they left the examination room, Kirk came up to them and said "Well how did it go?"

"Great, Captain. We all got into the Academy," Holly said, happily.

"Great job! I hope you do well. I have to get back to the _Enterprise_, but I hope to see the four of you soon," Jim said before walking off.

As the group walked towards their quarters, Mulch came up and asked, "How did it go?"

"Great Mulch," they said in unison. The five of them continued to Artemis' quarters. There, they decided to talk about how they would plan to get home.

"We could talk to Jim," Foaly said. "He's time traveled twice."

"That is an option," Artemis said, thoughtfully. "I'll research tonight, and we can look the options over tomorrow."

"Good night," everyone said to one another. Artemis sat down at his computer, and started his search. He read about the different adventures Kirk had been a part of over the years, such as the V'ger incident, the whales, and the death and rebirth of Spock.

But what interested him the most, was the superman named Khan. Khan was a genetically altered man who attempted twice, and ultimately failed to, kill Kirk and take control of the universe. According to the database, Khan was from the 20th century, but was put into cryogenic sleep in the aftermath of the Eugenics Wars. He was awakened by Kirk, in 2267 and attempted to steal the _USS Enterprise, NCC-1701_. Kirk put Khan and the other supermen on the abandoned planet, Ceti Alpha V, along with their sleeper vessel, the _SS Botany Bay_. In 2285, he escaped Ceti Alpha V and commandeered the _USS Reliant, NCC-1864_. He had one final confrontation with Kirk in the Mutara Nebula. There, he and all of his followers were killed in the explosion caused by the Genesis Torpedo (their bodies were never recovered from the wreckage). When Artemis looked to see who created the man, he was shocked to see the name Minerva Fowl on the list. He opened her file, and read she was his future wife, and she was killed during the Eugenics Wars.

He decided to open his file, and was shocked to see that he would become the leader of Ireland during the war. He would live until 2106, at the age of 115. During his life, he helped the Vulcans and Humans learn to respect one another, and also he made large contributions to the relief efforts after the war.

Artemis then decided to go to sleep and register the information. In the morning, they got up and headed to the auditorium. When they arrived, they saw that Admiral Toddman, and Captains Kirk, Spock, Scott, and Sulu on the stage.

"To all of the new students this year, welcome to Starfleet Academy," the admiral said, once everyone sat down. "I am Admiral Bill Toddman. With me are the legendary captains, James T. Kirk, Spock, Montgomery Scott, and Hikaru Sulu. Jim would like to say some words of advice."

Kirk stepped onto the podium, and addressed the crowd. "Hello, and welcome to the Academy. I would just like to say, that you shouldn't listen to anybody. Don't let them put you down, don't let them do anything that takes you away your concentration on the job, because while you're on a starship, concentrated and focused, you can make a difference."

"Well, you should head to your first classes, but as we said before, welcome to Starfleet," the Admiral said before the students filed out.

(A/N: Thank you for the comments and advise you all have been giving me :). Just like last time, please give me any advice you think would help improve the story, or tell me any errors that show up. ;)

Sabresedge: I know it is a bit out of character for Artemis, but in my opinion, if he had any more schemes stored in his brain, he would want to learn as much as possible about his surroundings and the technology there.

Alarianna: Yes, the Romulans were in 2006, and I'm not telling you about the story's direction, except I'm not spending much time at the Academy (this and the next chapter are literally it). The phaser shot did not do anything to Holly, because the Neutrino series and Phasers are practically the same.

_Live Long, and Prosper._


End file.
